


Not getting you out of my hair

by errantknightess



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: DGM Valentines 2018, Domestic Fluff, Exorcist!Alma AU, Hair Washing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 08:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13678095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/errantknightess/pseuds/errantknightess
Summary: “There you are!” Alma’s voice assaulted his ears, too loud in the shrill stillness. “I knew I would find you here!”Kanda exhaled forcefully, a low groan far from the controlled breathing he had practiced. How observant. Where else would he be? He came here every damn day at the same hour. It’s not like he was hiding – he had given up on that long ago. There was no hiding from Alma, not back in the maze of the China laboratories and not here in the winding corridors of the European branch. Ever since they were kids, Alma had brought the art of trailing him down to annoying perfection.





	Not getting you out of my hair

**Author's Note:**

> Secret Valentines Exchange gift for superbadlydrawnallenwalker on tumblr :3

Silence tickled his eardrums, swirling around him with a faint tinny ring. Kanda held onto it as his breath started to even out, deep and slow, his rising chest the only hint of movement in the empty training room. He closed his eyes, pushing all thoughts out of his head with each pass of air from his lungs. _Clear out your head. Focus. Relax_. It was thanks to this morning routine that he still preserved his sanity intact among all those idiots running around this stupid place. No matter the hour, peace and quiet were a rare commodity to come by in the Headquarters.

So of course it didn’t take long before the door slid open and a pair of bare feet thudded on the tatami floor, inevitably drawing closer to where he was sitting.

“There you are!” Alma’s voice assaulted his ears, too loud in the shrill stillness. “I knew I would find you here!”

Kanda exhaled forcefully, a low groan far from the controlled breathing he had practiced. How observant. Where else would he be? He came here every damn day at the same hour. It’s not like he was hiding – he had given up on that long ago. There was no hiding from Alma, not back in the maze of the China laboratories and not here in the winding corridors of the European branch. Ever since they were kids, Alma had brought the art of trailing him down to annoying perfection.

“Yuu?” The air stirred, the straw mats cracking softly as Alma knelt down, crushing his toe with their knee. Kanda pressed his mouth in a thin line, but remained still, even when a bony finger suddenly poked him right in the tip of the nose with childish insistence.

“Really.” A disappointed sigh swept over his lips, warm and close. He could hear the pout in Alma’s voice, feel the defeated slump of their shoulders as they leaned in, resting their hands flat against his folded calves. “You’re doing it again, Yuu. Don’t ignore me!” Another poke, this time in his cheek, fingertip dipping into the corner of his lips. Kanda swallowed, his tongue uncomfortably dry and stiff all of a sudden. He relaxed his jaw and almost started to open his mouth, but the pressure in front of him was already shifting aside.

“How long can you stay like this?” The warmth that faded from his face now seeped into his ear in a drawn-out murmur. “I really don’t get how you do this. It’s so boring to just sit in one place for hours on end!” A sudden weight knocked the air out of him as Alma draped themself across his back, hanging off his neck like a heavy, fidgety blanket. Their chest jostled between Kanda’s shoulder blades, pressing up on him with a steady rise and fall. Rolling his eyes under the closed eyelids, Kanda took a deep breath and easily fell into rhythm as he let it out. Alma shuffled again, their pointy chin digging in the top of his head, arms sliding down to wrap loosely over his shoulders. Kanda didn’t budge, even as his muscles threatened to twitch with the warm, electric current sparking where Alma’s fingers brushed against his bare skin.

“It’s snowing, have you seen?” They tried again, and Kanda almost opened his eyes before remembering there were no windows in the training room. “It looked so pretty when I woke up! Everything was so smooth and soft, and the snowflakes were spinning in the air and falling so slow – oh! Remember that time when we made a pillow fort in our room? Put all the pillows on the floor, and then you got mad that I took yours and smacked me so hard the feathers puffed out all over everything? That’s what it looked like!”

Kanda listened, letting himself get lost in the soft, soothing voice babbling into his ear. Talking with Alma was easy, way easier than the unreasonable hassle that Tiedoll called a _civilized conversation_. He didn’t need to do much at all, like stare at them or try to come up with an intelligent reply. Alma could fill the gaps for themself, and the more Kanda stayed silent, the more it encouraged them to talk instead – enough for both of them.

“Do you want to go somewhere after you’re done here?” The question thrummed through the top of his skull, low and raspy. Alma talked through their teeth, still resting their head on Kanda’s, their throat brushing against his scalp with each word. “Lavi told me he’s taking Allen ice skating today, how about that? They sure won’t mind if we join them!”

Maybe they wouldn’t, but Kanda definitely did mind. He could barely stand those two idiots on their own – he had no intention of tagging along when they were together. Alma would jump in on whatever stupid idea they got, too, and then _he_ will be the one left to pull their asses out of trouble. As usually. Hell no.

“I’m fine staying in if you don’t want to, though,” Alma continued with almost no pause for breath. Their hand skimmed up and down Kanda’s arm, the touch smoothing away the sudden annoyance that tensed up his muscles. “We can just sit here, at least it’s warm and cozy. And you won’t even have to move at all.” The load lifted from his back and Alma slumped down at his side, shuffling on the mats as they made themself comfortable with their head nested in Kanda’s lap. The weight reminded him just how long he had been sitting there; he didn’t even notice when his legs had fallen asleep, but now he could feel the ants crawling all over his numb thighs whenever Alma squirmed. Kanda let his hand drop, fingers slipping into the soft hair that tickled his knee. The short strands yielded under his touch and sprang back, as if living their own life. Alma chuckled and rolled their head to the side, poking Kanda’s stomach with their nose.

“See, it’s perfect. We can even take a nap now – you hadn’t nodded off already, right, Yuu? Just checking. No, I would know if you had, you snore louder than a broken Komurin, it’s hard to miss.” They reached up past his face, brushing the back of their hand against his cheek and sweeping the bangs away from his forehead. Gentle fingers combed slowly through his hair, twirled the strands around the knuckles – and tugged lightly – and again – and now it _hurt_ , dammit.

“Ow.” Kanda’s eyes snapped open, immediately drawn to the confused face below him. “What the hell, Alma?”

Craning their neck, Alma ran their hand through his hair once again, and once again Kanda painfully felt their finger catch on it.

“There’s something in your hair, Yuu.”

“ _What?_ ” Kanda growled, glaring down along their outstretched arm.

“I don’t know.” Alma scrambled to their knees and leaned in over his head to inspect it closer. “It’s kind of gooey… It looks like tree sap or something – how did it even get here?”

“Fuck,” Kanda groaned, because he _knew_. He remembered his rude awakening, the sudden yank as he rolled out of bed that morning. He thought his hair had snagged on a nail in the headboard, but it must have been this crap leaking from the planks instead. Just great.

“Hold still, Yuu!” Alma worked their fingers deeper into his hair, picking at the matted bangs with no mercy. Kanda only found enough patience for four tugs before he took a hold of their wrist and carefully pulled their hand away.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” he announced, already getting to his feet. His legs were like soggy noodles as he stretched them out, and he swayed a little before he regained feeling. Alma held him up with a steadying hand on his shoulder, nodding eagerly.

“Good idea, it should go easier when we wet it.”

“I don’t need help,” Kanda grunted. “I can wash my own damn hair myself. I’ll be right back.”

“But Yuu! It will be quicker this way!” Alma still hadn’t let go of him, padding alongside him to the door with an unrelenting pout. “I can see it better, I’ll get it all out for you in no time. It’s so sticky, and there are all those little clumps that are easy to miss, and—“

“All right, geez.” Exasperated, Kanda ran his hand through his hair, only to withdraw it a second later as his scalp prickled at the sudden pull on the tangled strands. There was no point in wasting his energy on this – Alma would just follow him anyway, like they always did. If they wanted to be useful for once, then what the hell. The sooner he gets this shit out of his hair, the better.

They weaved their way along the corridors, trailed by curious stares and hellos. It was always like that with Alma. Wherever they went, they greeted everyone on their way with a smile and a wave, and smiled even wider when people waved back or nodded in acknowledgment and _damn_ , did Kanda feel weird getting caught in all this attention. The vaulted corridors dragged on endlessly and he couldn’t wait to get out of sight.

“Ah, wait!” Alma called, coming to a halt as they approached their room. “Just a second,” they assured and slid behind the door, the unlocked latch clacking against the doorframe. Kanda rolled his eyes and strolled ahead, never breaking his pace. He only made a few steps before the door behind him slammed shut and Alma caught up to him again, bare heels pounding on the slabs.

“Yuu! I told you to wait up!”

Kanda just shrugged, pointedly looking away from the pouty face at his side.

“I’m still here, so what’s the difference? You know where the bathroom is, you don’t need me to lead you by the hand.”

“I don’t, but it’s nicer that way, isn’t it?” Alma laughed and wrapped their hand around his wrist, pulling him along as they skipped through the rest of the hall.

The bathroom was thankfully empty. Kanda’s footsteps echoed against the tiled walls as he marched straight towards the wash basins lined just opposite of the door. He opened the tap with more force than necessary and cursed under his breath when the water spouted out, splashing him with ice cold droplets. Alma was by his side in a blink, turning it down with a chuckle and stopping his hand midway as he reached for the bar of soap on the counter.

“Hold on, Yuu, I brought you something better. Look!”

So _that’s_ what they had loitered in their room for – this tiny bottle? Kanda glared at the swirly letters on the label, having a hard time deciphering the uselessly intricate font. Where the hell did they even get this from?

“Why would I want your shampoo?” he huffed, levelling a tired stare up at Alma. “I don’t need this fancy shit, soap works just fine.”

“Oh, this is stronger that soap,” Alma insisted. “You’ll see – come on now,” they coaxed, their hand pushing gently at the nape of his neck and urging him to duck under the running tap.

Kanda clenched his eyes as the cold water streamed over his face and fell into his ears. He snorted like a mad cat and squeezed his nose with his fingers, banging his elbow on the edge of the basin on the way. This was _exactly_ why he wanted to do it on his own – but before he could say anything through the pouring water, Alma’s hands slipped into his hair, sealing his fate.

And it was easy to give in to this fate, he realized with reluctant appreciation. Alma worked with a gentle touch, slowly massaging his skin and scrubbing their stupid shampoo into his scalp. The damn thing felt funny, coating his head with a thick foam that didn’t smell half bad – something like his fresh bed linens. Kanda breathed it in deeply, falling back into his trained rhythm almost on instinct. The delicate strokes, the rustle of running water and Alma’s happy humming somewhere overhead put him at ease, made his muscles soft and his mind pleasantly blank. _Clear out your head. Focus. Relax_. He let his thoughts drift away, until the fingers dancing over his skin were the only thing filling his consciousness, calm and tender and—

“All done!” Alma’s voice brought him back down to earth. Kanda let out his breath, almost a sigh of disappointment; he wouldn’t mind a few more peaceful minutes like this. Mindful of the tap, he pulled his head out of the sink and straightened out, squeezing the water out of his hair. Cold rivulets dripped down his back, easily finding their way along the dip of his spine. He should have taken the shirt off, dammit. Didn’t even think about that in his hurry to get it over with – but at least it was worth it. The nasty goo was gone, he noted with relief, running his hand through his bangs. Beside him, Alma grinned with satisfaction, immediately sticking their hand out to brush the floppy fringe out of his eyes.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” they asked, wiping their damp hands on their pants before reaching to their pocket to pull out a comb – _seriously, what else had they brought along?_ “Here, let me – or do you want to do it yourself?”

“Just get on with it,” Kanda grumbled, turning his head away so they could reach better and hurry it up. In the mirror, he caught the brilliant smile that Alma shot him in response, and then they bent over their task, eyes trained diligently on the back of his head.

It was decidedly less gentle than before. The comb dragged down, down, down, halting and snagging as Alma patiently worked out the knots and tangles. Kanda bit back a yelp more than a few times, but with every harsher tug, Alma was quick to smooth a soothing hand through the wet strands in a silent apology. The fine teeth of the comb scratching against his neck felt nice, too, an odd contrast with the soft fingertips skimming over his skin.

“Don’t you dare braid it,” Kanda muttered as he felt his hair part down the middle and drape over his shoulder like a sopping scarf.

“Awww, Yuu, but your hair is so long and pretty!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kanda rolled his eyes. “Long, pretty, and stinking of flowers. Are you happy now?”

With a laugh, Alma wrapped their arms around his chest, burying their face in the back of his head.

“Delighted.” Their breath tickled his skin, warm against the wet chill. Kanda squeezed their arm lightly, melting back into the embrace as Alma sank deeper into his hair, inhaling the scent deeply time and time again.

“That’s good,” he hummed with a smile.

And if Alma wondered later where that little bottle of theirs could have gone – well, Kanda’s closet was the last place they would look in, wasn’t it?


End file.
